Toothy BJ (Billboard Job)

Kakaris Dentistry is known the Downriver Michigan area for their billboards that don’t make a lot of sense. They have been running a “Choppers” campaign for most of the last year where they take a cartoon image slightly related to an attitude and then put [adjective] Choppers in front of it. Such as a military guy with “Serious Choppers” or a guy in a swimsuit and inner tube with “Happy Camper Choppers “. They seem to change to a new billboard once every 1-2 months.

What are Choppers?

They don’t really say.

Urban Dictionary defines choppers as anything from motorcycles to tommy guns to oral sex. Oh and then down at the bottom they mention teeth, generally false teeth.

Or from a slightly more legitimate source, they are defined fifth definition down as

choppers Slang Teeth, especially a set of false teeth.

So my assumption had always been that since this is a dentist’s office they weren’t talking about motorcycles or oral pleasure, they must be talking about teeth. Sure, they’re using a word that’s not commonly used for real teeth and their billboards barely made sense, especially since the cartoon characters or other subjects very rarely ever actually showed teeth when they were smiling, but there was really no other explanation for what a chopper was.

 

And then they unleashed this billboard…

I heard some rumblings about this billboard before I saw it. People calling it the blowjob billboard. Eventually I saw it for myself coming down Eureka road into Wyandotte, and they were right. Maybe our minds have been warped by the internet and seedy friendships, but it is really hard to look at this billboard and not think of explicit oral sex. Because when you see a heavily mascara’d woman with her mouth wide open and eyes staring directly into the camera, dentistry is far from the first thing that comes into mind. It almost looks like they took a real screen shot from an adult film and then photoshopped a penis out of her mouth.

An Oral Conspiracy?

Suddenly my brain rushes back to the Urbandictionary definition of choppers, particularly the user that defined it as a man receiving oral sex.

We all know advertisers love to use sex to sell their product. Was the whole choppers campaign, followed by this billboard, a plot to subconsciously inject a dual meaning of chopper as both teeth and oral sex? So they can then bring back the chopper campaign with phrases like “satisfying choppers” or “birthday choppers” and subliminally have us associate their product with the sweet release of getting choppers?

I highly doubt it.

What I do think is somebody chose a really, really bad stock photo to go with their advertising campaign. Probably a really innocent and sweet person that had no idea the horrible, disgusting thoughts and pornographic memories this would conjure up inside of people who’ve seen what evil lurks in the hearts of men.

Keeping our maturity about this

I would like to commend the citizens of Wyandotte for not spray painting a graffiti dick onto this billboard, even though it seems like the logical thing to do. Let’s just all try and convince ourselves this girl is just really surprised oral health can provide warning signs to other diseases and conditions. And she just can’t wait to have a dentist stick their stick long, hard spraying tools into her mouth to clean it out.

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